I am a husband. A dad. A business owner. My wife's cancer relapsed. We have a 3 year old. Did I mention my kid died of cancer? I write about all of it.
Friday, January 6, 2012
dreams and reality
I had an incredibly emotional dream last night. I was holding Saoirse and she was healthy and had some hair. I asked her if she wanted to put her head on daddy's shoulder and she did. it felt so good. I felt comforted. My dad was there and holding a new born baby. Kezia was there, I could here her talking and laughing in another part of the room. I just keep feeling her warm hug as she put her head on my shoulder. Then i saw Kezia and she smiled and then I saw the newborn again, my dad still holding. Then I started crying. then Kezia woke me up to remind me the furnace is being cleaned at 830. Reality set in quick. I felt good though. the dream was still very vivid in my mind. real like. still is actually. I think i am going to write a letter to her today.
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That's beautiful Mike - hold onto that dream and the warm hug feeling you got. That was Saoirse in your heart and head comforting you because she knew you needed it this week. I think she was reminding you she's with you and she can see your bright future ahead and she will always be a part of it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful dream and I like Casey22's comment. And great idea to write Saoirse a letter today.
ReplyDeleteMike, last night you got to be part of Saoirse's dream! I really do believe that. I think she was hugging your spirit by showing you that, to show you that she really is okay. And maybe to let you know that, in her dream, the end of her 'physical' life doesn't live on--its not a part of her dream. Because it was such a small part of the life she lived. The love you all shared defines her dream, not the disease, not her death, not what you did or didn't do. Just your love. I am happy that you had that moment, that feeling. Hold onto it. Maybe the newborn was the love she felt when she came into this world. Or maybe it was her future brother or sister (she doesn't have to have met them to love them!). Take from it what you need to, but hold onto the feeling of comfort it gave you.
ReplyDeleteAll the best, as always
What a beautiful dream- I believe that Saoirse's spirit was with you last night. Thinking about you and your family a lot lately and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI think the other posters are right on. I really believe she visited you last night and you had a glimse into the future. I have a feeling she will do this again very soon and often. You hold on to that Mike---don't lose that feeling. At least try for today. I am glad you felt some of that happiness and love again. Her spirit is with you.
ReplyDeleteOne of those signs everyone keeps telling you to look out for. She is OK and with you always. Keep your eyes peeled while you are awake and I bet you will see she is talking to you then too. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Kezia woke you up ---
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a comforting dream & even though it was just a dream, I'm very happy she was there... And you felt a balance.
She is with you.
My wife and I are still praying for you .
ReplyDeleteWe were talking last night about you guys and she said something very interesting to me.
She said that Saiorse helped you experience a love that you have never felt before.
It is so strong and indescribable.
Maybe that was her gift to you,
Mike, I am glad for your dream .
CL
Hi Mike,
ReplyDeleteI'm also really glad you had a dream in which you felt her presence, and her hugs. I know she was there. My brother had a similar dream a few days after we lost my grandmother. He said she hugged him in his dream, and when he woke up, he still felt her there and still felt her hugging him. She was the glue of our family, and when we lost her we lost everything, but that dream really gave him peace. I hope you get some peace, and while I know it will still be hard, I hope she continues to come to you in dreams where she's not sick anymore. Where you can see her healthy with some hair. Love to you and Kezia today and this weekend. Hug eachother today, and don't let go.
//Jennifer O'Dell
Mike,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful dream! Saoirse was showing you that she's ok, she knew you loved her, and you and Kezia have wonderful lives ahead of you. I'm glad this dream gave you some comfort. I keep you and Kezia in my thoughts each day and wish you the best.
That sounds like such a beautiful dream. I'm so glad you were able to have that experience and I hope it will help you on the tough days. You, Kezia and Saoirse and are often in my family's thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience to your dream when my aunt passed away last year. She has also passed away from cancer, but in my dream she was healthy and beautiful. She also gave me a hug and told me that she was okay and that everything was going to be fine. My mom has also had dreams like that about her mother who passed a long time ago. They come to us when they know we need them and it's their way of saying they're okay now. I hope you take comfort in this and know that she will always be with you guys. She loved you very much and she always will.
ReplyDeleteJade M.
Lincoln, NE
I think that was Saoirse coming to you. I had a dream after my cousin died letting me know he was okay, that I was okay, and he gave me a hug and when we released, he was gone. I still believe it was him letting me know that it was all okay.
ReplyDeleteAs awful, awful it is without her, and awful as you feel, the despair, everything, Saoirse is not sick anymore. I know you would give anything to have her back, I know it's not fair, I know you ache. I never met her and I still cry over her and you. But at least she's no longer sick. And she's visiting you in your dreams!
I love your dream!
ReplyDeleteDreams are always so fascinating. It could mean anything. I agree that her spirit somehow came in your dream. Maybe she is stopping by to see her new baby sister or brother in the future. Very interesting:)
ReplyDeleteshe was in my dream thursday morning. we were all at the circus and she ran up to me and said " thank you auntie. i love my hat". I don't know why she was thanking me, but she did have on a very cute hat. white and black top-hat like her birthday hat. she didn't have any hair but she looked healthy and bigger. she was very happy. she loved the circus.
ReplyDeleteI cried for 3 hours when I woke up.
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I lost my younger brother to leukemia 7 1/2 years ago and every once in a while I'll have a dream where it feels like he was still here and really hugging me and my family reminds me that it was really him visiting me. :) I love those dreams. :) He's also visited my parents, sister, some cousins he was close to and even my 7 yr old daughter who I was pregnant with when he passed but never actually met him. Her dreams of him are so vivid it scares her a little. Either way, all those dreams are messages from our passed loved ones. :)
ReplyDeleteI know that we were spirits in heaven before we came here to earth and that we return to heaven after we die. The veil between here and there is very thin sometimes and often believe that our loved ones who have passed on are the ones who serve as our "guardian angels" as we move through this life. My cousin's baby passed away at 6 weeks and my aunt was bereaved over losing her granddaughter. She prayed to know that the baby was okay. My aunt then had a dream in which she saw her father (who had died many years before) holding that sweet baby and told her that they were okay and that they were waiting for her and not to worry. I know of many people who have had similar experiences and I think that Saoirse appearing to you in a dream is her way of letting you know that she is okay and safe...and that she is waiting for you and Kezia. What a sacred experience. I pray that it helps to alleviate some of your grief! I continue to pray for you and Kezia and you are never far from my thoughts during the day.
ReplyDeleteI think it's her way of letting you know she is still with you. Be stronger. Prayers to your family.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the book "heaven is for real?" I just finished it. It's a great book if you believe in god.