I saw a baby being bottle fed today. I was having a pretty good day until then. Sometimes that is all it takes to bring on a depth of a gut-wrenching pain that can not be described. All of the bad images flooded my mind. It was like being hit by a bus. And then having it back up over me again. Over and over. I didn't want to bring Kezia down and we were doing something super fun. Of course she noticed and I told her i was having a bad afternoon.. thinking about Saoirse. But then I thought of the very first time Saoirse held her own bottle. I was feeding her. It was great and I was so proud of her. :) It made me smile and I started enjoying what we were doing again.
We are well. We are just doing what we think we need to do to reboot our lives of sort. Its hard. I am not sure what to do sometimes. But we seem to be doing the right thing for us. More later