I saw a baby being bottle fed today. I was having a pretty good day until then. Sometimes that is all it takes to bring on a depth of a gut-wrenching pain that can not be described. All of the bad images flooded my mind. It was like being hit by a bus. And then having it back up over me again. Over and over. I didn't want to bring Kezia down and we were doing something super fun. Of course she noticed and I told her i was having a bad afternoon.. thinking about Saoirse. But then I thought of the very first time Saoirse held her own bottle. I was feeding her. It was great and I was so proud of her. :) It made me smile and I started enjoying what we were doing again.
Deep breath.
We are well. We are just doing what we think we need to do to reboot our lives of sort. Its hard. I am not sure what to do sometimes. But we seem to be doing the right thing for us. More later
I am a husband. A dad. A business owner. My wife's cancer relapsed. We have a 3 year old. Did I mention my kid died of cancer? I write about all of it.
One day at a time.....one day at a time!!!
ReplyDeleteThe emotions will not go away forever, it will sometimes come back when remembering or seeing something that remind you of Saoirse. It is nothing wrong to feel any emotions, it can help to lessen a bit and it will be alright. It will take some time. We will continue pray for you two and sending healing thoughts on its way.
ReplyDelete"If we love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt; only love.."
ReplyDeleteMy dear Mike, I cannot tell you how inspiring your strength is to me.. Although sometimes it may feel like there is no more strength to give, remember that tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning.. I feel your love in every word that you write, every word. Know that what you're doing is giving hope to someone, somewhere. And what are we without hope?
I love you and your family with all my heart. Thank you..