Ok. I have allowed the situation with the ACS stress me out to the point I am physically ill. So I need to back off a bit and get back to raising awareness in an appropriate way to Neuroblastoma.
I just want to mention 1 thing. I am no longer calling for the resignation of Andrew Becker. I am calling for him to do volunteer work at his local children's pediatric cancer ward. He must have good qualities - I have to believe that. I am also someone who can make a difference. and will. I saw the entire situation kinda get out of control. We were all very and deeply hurt by what he wrote in his blog. But we can use that hurt to do something very good for childhood cancer. It brought a lot of attention to a lot of situations. How the ACS allocates its funds.. how little awareness there really is out there about childhood cancer... How many families truly need help that are battling childhood cancers. Lets all regroup and make this work.
We can all make this a win win situation.
My emotions are so raw right now and I can use those for something good. Not bad. Today I cried a lot because I miss Saoirse so bad. I miss her smile. I see it in my minds eye. I miss her voice. I hear it in my minds eye. I miss her smell. I smell her in my minds eye. I miss her laugh. I hear her giggle in my minds eye.
I cry when certain music comes on. I still feel like I am in a time warp. Sometimes I wake up and ask.. did it really happen?
I still wake up thinking I hear her in her room. I still make a point to pick things up off the floor so she doesn't eat it or step on it. (although she never really did that.. if Saoirse found something on the floor she was pretty good about bringing it to us. Thats what we taught her) I still make a point to be super quiet at night when I get up to pee in the middle of the night. I am not sure if that will ever go away.
After seeing some pictures of children going through treatments, I am feeling a great sense of motivation to get this business started. I wish I could put it online.. but just not prepared to do this yet. We do have an appointment with a manufacturer next tuesday. I need that quote so I can complete our business plan. I need help though. These are 2 products that will help every child and most adults. It is already a small demand and we need to get it out there. We will.
Once I made the decision to get back to my focus, which is raising awareness for Neuroblastoma.. I felt better.
I will write more later. I want to thank everyone who reads my blog. Your feedback means a lot to me and I read every comment. I wish I had time to respond to everyone. Ug.. we really need an assistant.