Just a quick post. Today I feel sad because Kezia and I are doing things and we wish Saoirse was with us. She is definitely in spirit as well as in ashes. Kezia made some pendants with just a sprinkle of Saoirse's ashes. (I can't believe I just used a cooking reference regarding my daughters ashes). Anyway.. We are staying strong and just trying to make sense out of all of this. Kezia made a mention in one of her last blog posts.. www.newmomnewcancer.blogspot.com about feeling like the last 18 months didn't even happen. I agree.. its as if we are in some type of time continuum. I walk around the house and the kitchen has very little in it anymore that says "a child lives here". Unless you know where to look. Its just a weird feeling that I can't really explain. Of course it was real. very real.
I was listening to some music today, a street performer and I instantly thought of Saoirse and pictured her dancing. She had a very particular dance. She loved to dance. She would just start shaking her body, moving and grooving to the music. Moving it and kinda rocking back and fourth. Most of you have seen video of her doing this I am sure. If not, i will try to post some over the next week or so. If she really liked the beat, she would drop everything and start dancing. No matter what, she would just dance. I miss that.
More later.. deep breath.