Just a quick post. Today I feel sad because Kezia and I are doing things and we wish Saoirse was with us. She is definitely in spirit as well as in ashes. Kezia made some pendants with just a sprinkle of Saoirse's ashes. (I can't believe I just used a cooking reference regarding my daughters ashes). Anyway.. We are staying strong and just trying to make sense out of all of this. Kezia made a mention in one of her last blog posts.. www.newmomnewcancer.blogspot.com about feeling like the last 18 months didn't even happen. I agree.. its as if we are in some type of time continuum. I walk around the house and the kitchen has very little in it anymore that says "a child lives here". Unless you know where to look. Its just a weird feeling that I can't really explain. Of course it was real. very real.
I was listening to some music today, a street performer and I instantly thought of Saoirse and pictured her dancing. She had a very particular dance. She loved to dance. She would just start shaking her body, moving and grooving to the music. Moving it and kinda rocking back and fourth. Most of you have seen video of her doing this I am sure. If not, i will try to post some over the next week or so. If she really liked the beat, she would drop everything and start dancing. No matter what, she would just dance. I miss that.
More later.. deep breath.
The pendants sound like a really nice idea. She can be carried closely, with you, always...I never saw video of her dancing, but you describe it so well it puts a smile on my face
ReplyDeleteMike, that is a beautiful memory. I have watched that video...always has moved me to see her 'grooving' like that. She was such a great little kid. With all that you and Kezia have shared of her, it feels like I knew her. I certainly loved, and love, her. Thats because of the amazing parents you are and were. I don't know how you did it, managing to give her all of the special love and comfort, and normalcy, that you could. You truly were amazing parents to her--all the more so because of what you were dealing with and facing.
ReplyDeleteYou and Kezia's absolute sacrifice in sharing your moments, your life, your daughter and all that you all went through....I know that opening yourself up to the 'public' must have been harder than any of us will ever now. And I'm sure it still is today. That you still do it is just more evidence of what amazing parents you are, still sacrificing so much for your daughter and in her name.
Hold on to the memories and revisit them as much as you can and need to. She was amazing, and her spirit IS amazing.
All the best
Audra
I think pendants are great to store ashes that can be worn anytime and feel her spirit close to heart. I have seen the video of her dancing to some music. She really enjoyed doing that:) I am sure she is still dancing somewhere as she enjoys as much she can.
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