Saturday, December 24, 2011

Hugging the heart

I have had a hard time today. I just had to cry. I was cleaning the kitchen and kept thinking of how Saoirse use to come up and want to play with the dishwasher. I miss that. I would talk with her while i did dishes and she played with her magnets on the fridge. She would just talk talk talk. She loved talking. I just listened and talked with her. Each time she spoke her words grabbed my heart a little tighter. That will never go away.

Deep breath.

I am sad today. I just keep letting myself feel and cry. I am also thinking of good things. Her smile, love of life and her happy moments. I am especially thinking of the night we decorated the tree. That will always be with me. I am comforted knowing that needy children will get some cool and fun toys for xmas.

I am going to chill out a while.


  1. crying is a GOOD thing. be kind to yourself - keep breathing - take it one day - one MOMENT at a time

    Mom to Angel Alexander the Great

  2. I just read your posts for the past two weeks. Let me start by saying that I will be praying for you and your family. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I have a 2 y/o daughter. My family also has been chosen to have cancer x2. My mother found out in May 2010 and father in August. My father lost his battle on Dec 14th. This holiday is hard for our family as I am sure it is for yours. May you and your wife comfort each other in this hurtful time.

  3. I've been following your story...and all I keep thinking is how brave I think you are. How you manage to have so much hope is inspiring. I wish I knew you so I could bring you tea and maybe some sunshine. xo Liz

  4. Thinking of you guys nonstop . So very sorry this has happens,