Friday, December 30, 2011

12:15 pm

Just put packed bins in the cooperage. Sigh. I have pictures. I will post later. I keep thinking about the night/morning she passed. i keep trying not to think about that. but it is so hard not to. then i think about the good times. like the memories of her playing on the floor on the number and letter foam mats. she loved that thing.

Deep Breath. I will write again later and put some new pictures up.


  1. Mike,
    In time, those memories will start to fade and the memories of her being full of life and love will take over.

    You and Kezia are an inspiration to everyone that reads your updates. Please remember to take care of yourselves and each other and that each day your hearts will start to hurt a tiny bit less.

    Your daughter is an angel and I have no doubt that you'll see her again one day. Lots of strength and love to you both.


  2. Mike,

    I hope this gives you some comfort that your little baby doesn't have to go thorough all the pain, meds, hospital visits more needles, no more painful tumors...

    All she now has love of millions of people..and parents who love her and miss her and think about her all the time..

    Just think, is her pain more painful than yours..may be..yes..


  3. I can't imagine what it must have been like to see your own baby pass. If you ask me you guys are really strong. But at the same time you don't always have to be eiher. If you don't want to pack up yet --don't. One day at a time ya know. I know you said she looked right at you guys though which tells me she new what you mean't when you said "it is ok to sleep now"-- a friend of mine works for pediatric hospice and she said kids know more than we think and that usually they handle death so much better than us. I think they must really see and feel that light. I think they feel the immense love and peace. I pray they do. I posted a link to your FB page . You guys should watch it tog. I really think she is at peace. I know it doesn't make that easier for you and God knows I would be a mess but please try to think about all the good too. Honestly I am just shocked at how much she smiled even when sick. Pretty amazing. She is such a special little girl. She has very special parents too. Hang in there. Take it one day at a time.

  4. Mike, I read your daily posts and I grieve with you. I helped clean my aunt's house after passing from cancer and it was difficult to touch and move her things. Just know that time helped to heal my heart as it will yours but you never lose the love and good memories you have of those who jave already passed. It does get easier. I pray for your beautiful family. I have included a link to another family who lost their daughter to the same disease 3 weeks ago. I read their posts and find so many similarities to your struggles. Perhaps you might find comfort and strength knowing you are not alone in this. They may benefit from you as much as you might perhaps from them. Don't feel pressured to do so though..