Today was a better day for me. Kezia is hopefully getting over her head cold. I feel bad for her. I hate being sick too. She has more blood work and a body scan in a few weeks. I can't wait. See, this is not over for me. Kezia is just newly in remission. I am stressed about that too. Saoirse's came back. Will Kezia's? I hope not. I don't think so actually. Its kinda rare for that cancer to come back. I worry. Thats all.
Deep breath.
As I walked around today and drove around today I just wished Saoirse was with us. She would have loved it where we were. I did have a piece of her with me though. I kept picturing her walking and demanding to do her own thing. Hehe.. She loved exploring. She has brought a new meaning of life to me. Although there was a part of me that died when she died. I also think there has to be something that was borne in me at the same time. I am not entirely sure what that is yet. I will eventually though. I am sure.
Deep breath.
I am keeping this short for now. I will write more later. I am probably going to put the computer (internet) down for a few days and focus on my stress and reducing it. Who knows, maybe I will be in a movie. :)... I will explain this later. It will all make sense.
I am a husband. A dad. A business owner. My wife's cancer relapsed. We have a 3 year old. Did I mention my kid died of cancer? I write about all of it.
I hope all goes well for Kenzia. I am a Hodgkins Survivor 2 times over but my battle is not over. Depening on what type you have there is alot they don't tell you with Hodgkins too. Would love to help ease some worries for Kenzia..
ReplyDelete"I did have a piece of her with me though. I kept picturing her walking and demanding to do her own thing. Hehe.. She loved exploring. She has brought a new meaning of life to me. Although there was a part of me that died when she died. I also think there has to be something that was borne in me at the same time. I am not entirely sure what that is yet. I will eventually though. I am sure."
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful, Mike. And I think you're absolutely correct about all of it.
Keep enjoying whatever it is you guys are up to :)
Courtney Rasey
My step father had hodgkins more than 40 years ago. He has lived a long and healthy life, with no lasting impact from the treatment. I hope the same for Kezia
DeleteYour strength is amazing. I miss her too and I never even met her. I think about you guys so often. I hope you are finding some peace in the midst of this trial.
ReplyDeleteWill be praying for Kezia. Yes, I completely agree that Saoirse is part of your life like any child is part of a parent's life. When losing a child, a part of it get lost along as well. Take care.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear what you two have been up to...and what you will be up to in the future!
ReplyDelete