Sitting at breakfast today I just kept seeing Saoirse sitting with us and enjoying her breakfast. She loved eating breakfast. Haha.. Saoirse loved eating period. But I tend to think that breakfast was her favorite. :)
One day I saw something that really touched my heart. She was in the hospital and was getting full skull radiation treatment for relapsed Neuroblastoma. She did not feel well at all. She had received a few christmas gifts from some friends in NYC. It was a barn filled with little horses. Well, one morning I was trying to get her to eat some breakfast.. little bites at a time. I lined the horses up in a row facing her. I went to mix her oatmeal and peanut butter and I turned around and she had taken her spoon and she was feeding each horse. It was sooooo cute. I just cried. I smiled and told her I loved her and said to her "feeding your horses breakfast?" and she responded by shaking her head up and down, raising her eyebrows up (Smiling eyes) and mumbled "Umhum" and then made the sign for "more". I miss her.
Sometimes during the day I have "hit me" moments. I was sitting eating my breakfast and I had a "hit me" moment. It suddenly "hit me" that she was not there eating with us. It "hit me" that she will never be again.
I miss my daughter.