I think the best I can do is just be there for her. Not be overly hovering her, give space and lots of hugs.
Saoirse was diagnosed on Mothers day of 2011. So Kezia has a double pain. On top of that, Kezia was battling her own cancer and going through Chemo. I have been trying to place myself in her shoes to get her through this. I also have to make sure I am ok. I have been having dreams lately about Saoirse.. She is crying for me. I can't get to her. Then I wake up. For just a second, I think its just a dream and I listen for her in her room. Then it hits me.
Deep breath.
I am a husband. A dad. A business owner. My wife's cancer relapsed. We have a 3 year old. Did I mention my kid died of cancer? I write about all of it.
Your five lines of text have my tears flowing. I'm a mom of two and cannot fathom having either one of them gone from my arms. I would imagine just being there for each other is the best you can hope for on such a bittersweet day. Thinking of you both. Happy Mother's Day to Kezia; Saoirse will be there.
ReplyDeleteI think you do exactly as you mentioned....be there for her, give her the space she needs but don't leave her alone. When my close friend lost her daughter, we made sure to still celebrate her as a Mother. Kezia will always be Mom to sweet Saiorse and that is definitely worth celebrating. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is an excerpt from an article I found that I feel may be helpful for you in figuring out what to do this year: "She fits where every other mother fits – in the spotlight. She’s still a mom, and she still needs to know that she is viewed this way by everyone else."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dying-well/201005/mothers-day-after-your-childs-death
Thinking of you both always. Happy Mother's Day to Kezia! <3
Tiffany hit the nail on the head. Kezia is a mom. That will not change. Celebrate that and cry too. Its ok. You guys hang in there. Keep in mind....Mothers Day is made up. Fathers Day too.
ReplyDeleteYou are parents EVERYDAY and you ALWAYS will be. Your little angel will bring you comfort when you need it most.
Agree with Tiffany. She's still a Mom. It will be a hard day no doubt. Will be thinking of you both on Sunday (and saying a little prayer for comfort and peace).
ReplyDeleteIt will be rough, but I am sure you will find a way to make it special (My husband did last year - it did make me cry, but it was very special)
ReplyDeleteBe with her - love her, reminder her what a wonderful mom she was to your beautiful girl. She will ALWAYS be her mom - even if it doesn't feel like that this year.
Nancy =)
http://thecookiegal.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/mothers-day-2/
I agree to what people above are saying. Like, I said in other post, Kezia is still a mother, no matter what. You are still a father when Father's Day is coming in June. Also, you two are parent to Saoirse, no matter what. Mother's Day and Father's Day is just a part of holiday. Why do we need those specific months to celebrate it, when parents can be thankful everyday. Just be thankful that you are parents, no matter what. Yes, it is true that Saoirse will not be with you two physically on that date, but she is still around you two. Be there for Kezia this Sunday because she will be there for you in June. Sending thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDelete