Happy Birthday My sweet baby
Saoirse
Today you turned 2. Mommy and I are always thinking of you and you will be happy to know that I am going to cut the grass today on your "tractor" :) There are a lot of people who love you and are thinking of you today. We might have a fire tonight outside because you love fires. Oh.. and I am sure you already know this, but the garden is doing great.. we are going to grow some potatoes this year! We are also trying some new white pumpkins..
Fallon misses you. She guards your toys keeping them safe for your future brothers and sisters. Fallon loves it when Colin, Thomas and Eleanor come over because she knows that they are your friends. Fallon needs her baby fix. :)
We know you are here. We feel your presence in the house and your room and on the yard. I want you to know that I love you so much and I miss you even more.. I feel so privileged to have known you and learned from you. I carry you with me every day and there is not a moment that goes buy that I don't think about you and smile. You always smiled no matter what. You are such an inspiration to us and to thousands of other people though out the world. Yes.. people know you from all over the world. :)
Lets go cut the grass.
Happy Birthday
Love
Daddy
I am a husband. A dad. A business owner. My wife's cancer relapsed. We have a 3 year old. Did I mention my kid died of cancer? I write about all of it.
Showing posts with label Fruites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fruites. Show all posts
Friday, June 1, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Did the past year actually happen?
Did this past year actually happen?
As I sit in my office or in my chair in the living room, I ask myself "did the past year actually happen?", "did we really have a child with cancer?"
I have been having some bad days. I am again being flooded by images of saoirse the day she died. The sounds actually and the image of her getting cpr. I am haunted by all of the doctor talk. I am haunted by the machine that made the loud beeping noise.......
It had been getting better, but I have times where it really floods me. I know I am not crazy, its just difficult. It sucks all of the wind out of me. What was she thinking about? did she feel any pain? did she hear me tell her I love her from across the room? Did we make the right decisions?
Regret..
Not bringing her home so she could die at home.
Deep breath
I have been crying for a week actually. I feel such a deep sense of loss. Saoirse's birthday is tomorrow. We are having a Celebration Party for her on June 9th. Saoirse loved life and she loved parties. She loved being around her friends and playing. All of her friends are having birthday parties right now.. Thats the other thing.. we are invited to the parties and we go. Kezia's mom's group are wonderful and have stuck by our sides through and through. We love them all. We bring saoirse's Elmo doll with Curious Georges shirt on.. Saoirse's presence is always there.
Kezia is also launching the Fitzgerald Cancer Fund by flooding the plaza of the Today Show on June 18th with large poster sized pictures of NB kids. Helping to organize this has been tolling on the both of us.. Its overwhelming actually because there are so many factors in putting it together. We still need to have the posters printed and find a place that is not expensive. The other challenge has been getting people to come down and help hold posters because we have to get there early.. Like super early to ensure the prime location. It is a monday so its difficult i realize. But we will make it work.
I will write more later.. Also, I will write about our trip to Austin, TX later. This was significant for me because I got to speak with other parents - In particular other dads.
As I sit in my office or in my chair in the living room, I ask myself "did the past year actually happen?", "did we really have a child with cancer?"
I have been having some bad days. I am again being flooded by images of saoirse the day she died. The sounds actually and the image of her getting cpr. I am haunted by all of the doctor talk. I am haunted by the machine that made the loud beeping noise.......
It had been getting better, but I have times where it really floods me. I know I am not crazy, its just difficult. It sucks all of the wind out of me. What was she thinking about? did she feel any pain? did she hear me tell her I love her from across the room? Did we make the right decisions?
Regret..
Not bringing her home so she could die at home.
Deep breath
I have been crying for a week actually. I feel such a deep sense of loss. Saoirse's birthday is tomorrow. We are having a Celebration Party for her on June 9th. Saoirse loved life and she loved parties. She loved being around her friends and playing. All of her friends are having birthday parties right now.. Thats the other thing.. we are invited to the parties and we go. Kezia's mom's group are wonderful and have stuck by our sides through and through. We love them all. We bring saoirse's Elmo doll with Curious Georges shirt on.. Saoirse's presence is always there.
Kezia is also launching the Fitzgerald Cancer Fund by flooding the plaza of the Today Show on June 18th with large poster sized pictures of NB kids. Helping to organize this has been tolling on the both of us.. Its overwhelming actually because there are so many factors in putting it together. We still need to have the posters printed and find a place that is not expensive. The other challenge has been getting people to come down and help hold posters because we have to get there early.. Like super early to ensure the prime location. It is a monday so its difficult i realize. But we will make it work.
I will write more later.. Also, I will write about our trip to Austin, TX later. This was significant for me because I got to speak with other parents - In particular other dads.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Change in diet and lifestyle. Thank you Saoirse.. I love you..
Just a quick post. It is Sunday and I am going to get the materials to build a Cold Frame Hoop house so I can start lettuces, carrots and get my bedding plants started. While we may still have some snow and nights that have freezing temps, this won't effect the cold frame. We didn't have a hard freeze this winter (odd in Massachusetts and a good part of New England) so my garden soil is soft, not frozen. so i figure "why not?". .. I just need to find a tiller.. Not a lot for sale in the area on craigslist. We are switching over to a whole foods diet and organic. That stuff is expensive, but we are finding ways to make it affordable. One of the ways is to grow our own root veggies, lettuces, kale, peppers, etc.. I have complete control of it. Through the summer I will gather supplies to build a hot house so I can grow all year round. I have the land to do this and no restrictions. This will also enable me to grow more variety through out the year such as peppers, tomatoes, spices, and a wide range of winter lettuces and root veggies. (you can also grow your own veggies in buckets with grow lamps in the house through out the winter. Just a quick search online will produce a lot of good information on how to do this if you don't have the garden space. The other way is to join a co-op (info listed below in Kezia's post) as well as buying from local organic farms. One of our Facebook followers also sent us a site called http://www.organicvalley.coop/ that has a lot of good information on it, including coupons. Yes coupons for organic food. :)
What I am finding since we started buying organic is the money spent on organic seems to be balancing itself out because we only buy the essentials. No junk food. No dairy. No waist. Also, not buying meat at this time also helps save. This includes red meat, chicken and turkey. The meat that is sold in stores is so full of antibiotics and chemicals. Also, cows raised for mass production are fed grain and kept in bins with very little time in the pasture.. this goes for dairy and cows for beef. Cows are not meant to eat grain or stay cooped up in a barn stall with no room to move. They are meant to eat hay and grass.. Yes, buying mass production beef or chicken is cheaper than buying grass fed beef or free range chickens in stores but when you either eliminate eating beef & chicken, or cut down drastically the amount you eat, you actually end up spending less to eat farm raised grass fed beef and free range chicken. This also goes for turkey and pork. (you can buy it at the local farm much cheaper or join a co-op where the prices are reasonable) I found a site that lists a lot of local farms http://www.eatwild.com/products/massachusetts.html
We are not doing this because we think animals are cute.. it really has nothing to do with it at all. The conventionally grown vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides that have chemicals in them and most apples and fruits are painted to make them look prettier and more appetizing. Cattle are given antibiotics and the grain they eat has chemicals in it. I can keep my garden organic with organic sprays and plants that discourage bugs. This is about the health benefits of a whole foods diet. Its not about a "fad" or jumping on a band wagon. Its about getting healthy and doing things to prevent cancer and doing things to prevent heart disease and to prevent as much as we can from putting genetically modified chemicals and products into our body. Once the 3 weeks of the initial diet is up, I will occasionally eat farm eggs and bacon.. But only occasionally.
We have been doing our research. A lot of it. Below is Kezia's post yesterday on her blog www.newmomnewcancer.blogspot.com
Please read it and share it with your friends and family.
What I am finding since we started buying organic is the money spent on organic seems to be balancing itself out because we only buy the essentials. No junk food. No dairy. No waist. Also, not buying meat at this time also helps save. This includes red meat, chicken and turkey. The meat that is sold in stores is so full of antibiotics and chemicals. Also, cows raised for mass production are fed grain and kept in bins with very little time in the pasture.. this goes for dairy and cows for beef. Cows are not meant to eat grain or stay cooped up in a barn stall with no room to move. They are meant to eat hay and grass.. Yes, buying mass production beef or chicken is cheaper than buying grass fed beef or free range chickens in stores but when you either eliminate eating beef & chicken, or cut down drastically the amount you eat, you actually end up spending less to eat farm raised grass fed beef and free range chicken. This also goes for turkey and pork. (you can buy it at the local farm much cheaper or join a co-op where the prices are reasonable) I found a site that lists a lot of local farms http://www.eatwild.com/products/massachusetts.html
We are not doing this because we think animals are cute.. it really has nothing to do with it at all. The conventionally grown vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides that have chemicals in them and most apples and fruits are painted to make them look prettier and more appetizing. Cattle are given antibiotics and the grain they eat has chemicals in it. I can keep my garden organic with organic sprays and plants that discourage bugs. This is about the health benefits of a whole foods diet. Its not about a "fad" or jumping on a band wagon. Its about getting healthy and doing things to prevent cancer and doing things to prevent heart disease and to prevent as much as we can from putting genetically modified chemicals and products into our body. Once the 3 weeks of the initial diet is up, I will occasionally eat farm eggs and bacon.. But only occasionally.
We have been doing our research. A lot of it. Below is Kezia's post yesterday on her blog www.newmomnewcancer.blogspot.com
Please read it and share it with your friends and family.
"Vegan is NOT a four letter word
So, in an effort to change our lives for the good, and improve our health, we have been reading and researching about how our diets in this country affect our overall health. After lots of research, and too much time spent on the internet, we have decided to make some major changes in our home and our lives.
Change #1:
NO MORE CHEMICALS! We got rid of all of our traditional household cleaners, pesticides, and personal products. We will be replacing them with all natural oil soaps, and cleaners made from basic ingredients like vinegar, salt, lemon, and backing soda.
Change #2:
ALL ORGANIC! Pesticides have a very strong link with Neuroblastoma in particular. They can also carry compounds that can have a profound impact on overall health. Avoiding them (and GM products) as much as we can is our goal here.
Change #3:
WHOLE FOOD/PLANT BASED EATING! For a very full description on this concept, and the science behind it, see the documentary "Forks Over Knives."(ps: it's now on Netflix!) We are trying to prevent cancer in particular, but the benefit of having healthier hearts, and better overall health makes this lifestyle worth the little bit of extra effort at the grocery store.
Change #4:
EAT LOCAL! This one will take a little time for us to adopt. We have signed up for a CSA this year through the Farm Direct Coop. We are very excited to get some amazing local, organic produce over the majority of the year. We will be growing our own garden too, and will be putting a lot of effort into gathering enough produce over the season to hopefully can and freeze for the winter months. I think the most difficult thing to track down will be local beans and nuts, but we will be looking into that over the coming months, and hopefully work something out. We are still loving our local, organic produce being delivered to us each week by The Fruit Guys, and it's so great to know we have that to rely on.
Some major life changes, but all for the better. It will be tough at first, but so far we are determined to make important changes like this to help our family grow strong and healthy in the future! "
Change #1:
NO MORE CHEMICALS! We got rid of all of our traditional household cleaners, pesticides, and personal products. We will be replacing them with all natural oil soaps, and cleaners made from basic ingredients like vinegar, salt, lemon, and backing soda.
Change #2:
ALL ORGANIC! Pesticides have a very strong link with Neuroblastoma in particular. They can also carry compounds that can have a profound impact on overall health. Avoiding them (and GM products) as much as we can is our goal here.
Change #3:
WHOLE FOOD/PLANT BASED EATING! For a very full description on this concept, and the science behind it, see the documentary "Forks Over Knives."(ps: it's now on Netflix!) We are trying to prevent cancer in particular, but the benefit of having healthier hearts, and better overall health makes this lifestyle worth the little bit of extra effort at the grocery store.
Change #4:
EAT LOCAL! This one will take a little time for us to adopt. We have signed up for a CSA this year through the Farm Direct Coop. We are very excited to get some amazing local, organic produce over the majority of the year. We will be growing our own garden too, and will be putting a lot of effort into gathering enough produce over the season to hopefully can and freeze for the winter months. I think the most difficult thing to track down will be local beans and nuts, but we will be looking into that over the coming months, and hopefully work something out. We are still loving our local, organic produce being delivered to us each week by The Fruit Guys, and it's so great to know we have that to rely on.
Some major life changes, but all for the better. It will be tough at first, but so far we are determined to make important changes like this to help our family grow strong and healthy in the future! "
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