I am not sure I want an xmas tree this year either. I guess I just feel overwhelmed that it has almost been a year. I miss holding her. I miss her learning and smiling and being excited about things she discovers. I miss her playing with Fallon. I feel her presence here in the house too. Its just so surreal.
There are some things that I can't/won't put away yet.
Folded clothes I put on my dresser about a week before she died as well as her sweater and toothbrush
Folded clothes and one of her clothes hangers and a bag of snacks. I put these there on my bedroom radiator the day before we took her to the hospital last year
Her changing table. Nothing has changed yet. her shoes are still there as if they are waiting for her feet.